


The Last Straw

by bry0psida



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Death, Descriptions of Blood, Explosion, Heartbreak, M/M, Stabbing, mostly canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 19:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11237946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bry0psida/pseuds/bry0psida
Summary: A detailed summary of what I believe SHOULD have been an incredibly emotionally distressing scene. Mostly Hawke POV, brief Anders.





	The Last Straw

**Author's Note:**

> Written in a weird sort of timeline, lot's of reflection from past to present may portray a confusing narrative, idk. This is my first fic please be kind!! Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated.
> 
> I also recommend y'all listen to the music I listened to while writing this:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Agz8AQhfHZI  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHVe2dHsCT8&list=PL1FohRYdWClBTT8U3uFDXTdc_nz4Sdleu

** Hawke POV **

 Blood roars in his ears, tears burn in his eyes, his heart is beating harder than it ever has before-never has he had to make a decision of such weight.

Anders had detailed the planning in chilling depth. First, convincing Garrett to help him find the components, next, the construction of the magical explosive device. Then, meticulous description of the guard’s shifts within and outside the chantry. The times sisters, peasants, the poor and the nobles came and left to pray, the exact location of the divine at what times of day. Hawke is about to enquire how he could know all this, why he needed to know all of this, but Anders reads his mind and answers.

“I had to know how to get to her. She’s the catalyst for the mage rebellion. Should the blast at distance not be enough, I had to be able to get to her.“ All the while, Garret is overwhelmed from the sheer shock of what has just happened, the implications.

Anders continues in a voice that is so calm, so steady, that Hawke knows he has rehearsed this.

“There is nothing you can say that I haven’t already said to myself.”

First, Hawke lost his father. “I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever.”

Next, his sister. Two years later, his brother.

“This is the justice all mages have awaited.”

Then, his mother. And now, finally, his lover.

"You think this is justice? Listen to yourself, Anders! How is this justice? This brings no murdered mage back from the dead. This reverses no tranquility ritual. This was the death of a spiritual leader. You, an apostate, have murdered the divine. You have begun a holy war, Anders. And mages will be the first casualty." Anders seems to ponder this for a moment and cooly replies

"We need a revolution, Hawke. Not a protest. People will die inside the circles and always will, if we don't destroy it." Hawke cannot think, cannot even breathe. He feels his voice leave his body of it’s own accord, laced with venom “Did that spirit tell you to do this?”

If it was possession, he could forgive him. It wasn’t truly his fault, his desire to kill all those people was the makings of a demon. They could run away to Tevinter, there must be a mage who can separate them-

“No.” The word rings in Hawke’s ears.

“When we merged, he ceased to be. We are one now”

He’s still talking, Garrett can hear him, but he isn’t listening anymore.

“You have to pay for what you’ve done.” Hawke can feel the tears falling from his eyes as Anders screams that he’s still the man he was.

"This wasn’t vengeance, this was justice!" Garret’s hand shakes as he reaches for the dagger hidden in his armour. Anders doesn’t notice as he unsheathes the blade, doesn't see the reflection of fire in the knife, doesn't hear the desperation in his own voice. He’s too deeply possessed. Anders did not end, and justice did not begin; they were now revenge in a human body.

Hawke always wondered if you could die from a broken heart. He was sure it would destroy him one day. How he had survived all these years as an apostate, watched his home burn to the ground, watched his entire family die, he did not know. Somehow, through it all, he kept going. He feels the weight of it now. He swears the pain will split him in two if he hesitates any longer, so he plunges the dagger deep into Anders heart.

* * *

 

Hawke doesn't expect the sobs-both his and Anders- nor the gushing of blood onto his face, down his neck and trickling behind his breastplate. He was not prepared for the sheer weight of Anders as he collapses onto him and slowly dies, the small whoosh of air as it leaves Anders lungs.

Hawke had killed many people, both directly and indirectly, but never had he held a lover as they died in his arms.

* * *

**Anders POV**

The blood is everywhere-his face, his hands, his mouth. He can feel himself choking on it as he slams to the ground, Hawke is falling with him. He feels the air leave his lungs all at once. Every breath he takes he can feel himself fading. He knew it end would like this. He knew it had to end like this. Despite knowing he would die for his actions, he can't quite believe Hawke is the one to kill him.

The dagger seemed to come from nowhere. One moment he was relaying his motivations for his actions, hoping to provoke Meredith or one of the templars into killing him- And then it's buried in his chest. Pain blossoms around his left breast with blood. He doesn't hear either of their screams, doesn't feel the dust in his eyes, doesn't smell the smoke, doesn't taste the blood coming from inside of him. All he feels is a deep, pulsing ache as he loses consciousness.

* * *

**Hawke POV**

They never break eye contact. From the moment the blade pierces Anders heart till the moment his eyes roll into the back of his head as he bleeds out, Hawke never looks away. They fall together, both sets of knees giving out in unison. Time seems to stop as they lay together in the place between life and death. There are hands pulling at his arms, voices calling for him to get it together. As he is hoisted to his feet Hawke's eyes are still focused on Anders. His arms are draped around Aveline's and Fenris's shoulders. He can hear the fire, the screams of the people still trapped within the chantry. Can taste the smoke. Once they begin to pull him away from the body he panics, kicking and pushing them both away, using a mind blast when he isn't strong enough to overpower them both with one arm. There's dirt in his mouth and under his nails from trying to claw his way back to Anders-they're all grabbing at him now, crying his name. After another minute of struggling, a sleep spell is cast upon him. The last thing he sees is Anders crumpled form outlined by the still smoking chantry.


End file.
